For The Ones Who Thought They Had to Forgive to Deserve Healing

Kimberley Ann
Aug 5
2 min read

Recently, I saw a video saying that if you want to “manifest your best life,” you have to forgive these four people:

• Your parents

• Your exes

• The ones who hurt you on purpose

• Yourself

It sounds neat. Tidy. “Spiritual.” But here’s the thing:

That message isn’t just wrong — it’s dangerous.

Because some of us? We’ve lived through abuse, betrayal, abandonment. We’ve had our safety stolen and our voices silenced —and then were told to forgive in order to earn our healing.

So here’s the truth:

You do not need to forgive anyone in order to heal.You do not need to bypass your anger to be spiritual. You are not less evolved because your body still remembers what was done to you. You are not behind.

Some people do not deserve your forgiveness. And that doesn’t make you bitter — it makes you honest.

Healing isn’t tidy.

Sometimes it’s fierce. Sometimes it’s slow. Sometimes it’s just finally saying, “That happened. And it mattered.”

Healing looks like:

Boundaries
Telling the truth
Letting go of what never belonged to you

And if you've ever felt broken because you couldn’t “forgive and move on”…You’re not broken. You’re still healing. And that healing isn’t held hostage by the person who hurt you.

You are allowed to manifest joy, love, and a beautiful life

without ever forgiving the one who caused you harm.

I wrote this for the version of me who once believed she was doing healing “wrong” —because she still had fire in her bones, because she still needed to say no, because she wasn’t ready to offer grace where none had been shown.

If that’s you, I see you. You’re not wrong. You’re just real.